{i love her. and true love lasts a lifetime}

Emma Thompson´s character in Love Actually spoke fondly about her idol Jodi Mitchell. I find her to be quite depressing, Jodi, not Emma... please! But they say we can´t choose who we fall in love with so my continuance of opinion shall remain locked inside my little Pandora box... (cont.)

Ohhh, I can´t help myself, but the word Pandora always brings to mind one of the best lines in cinema history... and from "Spike" nevertheless!

"I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never got to see her box, though...." 

How can you not love Spike? He´s the all time fantasy roommate, if you live in Notting Hill, did you see the prices of those flats with blue doors?! Eventually you´ll meet a movie star in your local bookshop and move out...

And speaking of falling in love, I can´t believe I´ve waited all these posts to share this with you... I guess we had to be further acquainted, its a matter of trust, you see.

I have a very special love, unconditional (until further notice, who knows). A kind of love that you feel will last a lifetime. Cherish, adoration, admiration... I just sighed. And Im blushing, I feel like Im in a confessionary and Im not even religious!

And whom do I have all these feelings for, you may ask. Well those close to me already know who Im talking about and now so will you... That guy that wore a leather jacket and a cross earring in the 80s, the one who got caught in a Beverly Hills park bathroom doing who knows what, the boy that evolved into one of the greatest singing voices in history... more clues? c´mon, it´s pretty obvious by now!

This man made me do things I thought Id never do! Im not going to go into all the emotional linings, that would be like 150 different posts, but I am going to share with you this particular adventure that I went on starting in the year 2006. I took a year off, let´s call it a sabbatical, to go wherever he would go. He was on tour back then, 25 Live. My very first concert was in Rotterdam and from then on... 18 more concerts... London, Paris, Copenhagen, Vancouver, Madrid, Barcelona, Milan, Budapest... and the list goes on... You could say Im quite fond of him...

I had the time of my life, travel, meeting "OCFs" (other crazy fans), seeing the love of my life over and over again and after a very cold wait, the chance to meet him, believe me this merits a whole other narrative but at least I will share my photo... and before you say anything, yes, he´s looking in another direction. My emotions were all over the lace to even look at was going on with the camera so the whining came until later...

But one day I came back home, on the verge of 2008 and something happened. I was crazy excited sharing my experience with friends and family and then...  All of a sudden I was back in the real world, in real time and a feeling of discomfort became my full time companion. What was going on? Ive just had a million dreams come true, isn´t that what its all about? Apparently not. I was feeling guilty, dissatisfied with myself. Believing I had wasted an entire year of my life instead of focusing on goals, my career, my future. I started to panic. I became isolated and desperate trying to figure out a way to make up for all "the lost time". How could someone like me, so driven and focused pursue such insanity? I had to get into therapy!!! 

Well, I did, although no couch or hourly rate were involved. I organized a conversation group with friends and we called ourselves The Lost Souls. No joke, desperate times call for desperate measures!! The six of us started getting together twice a week, just chatting, sharing as much as we could. That is when I realized that all my friends were cuckoo, like I didn't know this already! Aside from the obvious, amazing things started to occur. Thanks to the ears and brains of these ladies I slowly began to relax about this whole ordeal and started to see the wonderful things that I had actually accomplished. Perhaps a little unconventional but dreams are unique and very personal. 

This changed my complete outlook on life, I became FREE. These were my choices, my decisions, my resolutions. Mine, mine, mine. I had adjusted my vision and it was the best thing that ever happened to me... And this is when all the cliches come in handy: No more regrets, live the moment, each day is a new beginning... If you want to add something, be my guest.

No matter how many plans we make, we can´t predict tomorrow and nothing can take away our life experiences, which is why I became very determined to live my life this way, in motion, not letting opportunities pass me by. As long as those opportunities rank high in my standards and not anyone else´s. No one can tell you what things are important to you, this is something that you have to discover yourself. Find your own path and lead the life that you want. It´s the only way that you´ll ever achieve true happiness and fulfillment.

Sometimes we need a little push to get us started, we may find it in our careers, our families, animals, the planet or even a pop star, a very talented one... Following passion and love, because true love lasts a lifetime...

With that in mind, his new tour started later in 2008 and guess who was there? And Symphonica 2011? An intimate gathering at the Royal Opera House in London, even Elton John was there! You think I was going to miss that? I even dragged my mom to the concert. Now she´s an OCF!! Like we say in spanish "quien te quita lo bailado?". It translates into something like "who can take away the dance you´ve already danced". It sounds terrible in english but you get the picture....

Get up, get out there and go find your very own George Michael because you´re not getting mine!!!

{drinking with dead women writers}

I think I need to start making a list of all the books I need to get my hands on. There´s so many I even thought about starting an excel document so keep things in account. What do you think, too nerdy?

I would certainly be drinking wine while making new entries, as well as asking myself if Dorothy Parker would read it, I was inspired by this particular book that is currently number one on my list...

{you have the nicest pair of rhododendrons in town}

Patrick Dempsey was once a regular teenage dork with an edge that is, as he clearly went from geek to chic (and back to geek... in the length of 2 hours!) in Cant Buy Me Love... He was suave with the ladies, he had a special touch. What was it? If you re-watch the movie, as I have done at least once a year for the past 20 years, you may find that you agree with me in assuming that it all comes down to the art of complimenting...

Cindy Mancini, the prettiest girl in school... "The most beautiful girl in the history of this county" - Chuck said. - And yet a so unsure of herself, that she had to go and borrow her mom´s suede outfit which she had strictly been forbidden to touch. She went to the party in the outfit, showed it off to her friends (saying that her boyfriend had sent it to her from Iowa, because that´s where the finest leather comes from...), got red wine spilt on it and well, thanks to all this dilemma, there is a movie we can share!

So, this happened with high school kids but it seems we never grow out of it. Why do we care so much what people think of us? Why do compliments sometimes make or break our days? Why do the lack of compliments weigh over our every relationship? I mean, I sure dumped the guy who was unable to tell me how spectacular I looked in that red dress, believe me, SPECTACULAR.

That´s what social media was invented for, right? Compliments. We live in a world of likes and retweets letting those define our taste, our mood and our wisdom! I personally get ecstatic when you share my posts with others, if Im feeling down, that´ll do it. Im just making a statement, not criticizing in any negative way, so please continue sharing and bringing a smile to my face... 

But I am (a little) opposed to letting these things master my decisions. If you narrow it down, who´s opinion matters most to you, that of a total stranger or one coming from someone who cares for you and who you respect? Both, of course! Apparently it´s getting harder and harder to set these apart as we are spending more amounts of time with our virtual connections and awarding them more meaning than we (perhaps) should. 

Fishing for compliments, means you might not catch any! No matter how well-equipped you find yourself to be... But there´s a higher chance you´ll get some if you reach out to a larger quantity of individuals, I understand. Quantity has taken over quality, big time. I once opened a fake facebook account to give a like to the posts I submitted on the real one!! Losers unite, you might as well confess that you did it too. Fake account is now closed, it started getting lazy and not liking my posts anymore....

And this works both ways, don´t you sometimes feel compelled to like or share something someone else posted out of guilt or to make that person feel good? Sure you have! I like posts all the time and I don´t even read them! 

If you want to get some good compliments out there, here´s a great list gathered by Huffington Post for you to take a look at, cut and paste. And if you are looking for a compliment, let it come naturally, without expecting it, it feels so much better... better make a recording yourself on your phone and play it back for as long as it´s necessary. Something like - "Ale, you are amazing. The diet is working wonders, you look so much thinner "- play it until it starts to sink in.

SPOILER ALERT ... Although I don´t know if that even existed in the 80s!

In the end, Ronald and Cindy get together. They each realize that neither of them have to change to accept the other nor do they care what anybody thinks about them anymore. "Cools, Nerds, your side, my side, man it's all bullshit. It´s tough enough to be yourself."...

{it takes years to write a great novel. and it takes you just as long to write a shit novel}

Truth be told. Albatross. Just watched this movie, one of those peculiar ones in which you are convey ed into a feel good place yet the plot is quite sketchy and insecure. I enjoyed it, naturally. There´s a writer involved (Sebastian Koch, yum!), talk about his novel...There´s also Emelia, who has been deceived her whole life into thinking she was Conan Doyle´s great granddaughter (a clever touch) and well, that´s about it... Some website described it as - A coming of age at the English Seaside - That´s plenty for me, I will forever more be front row audience to anything remotely: Bildungsroman / Künstlerroman

Even if the dialogue goes something like this:

Beth: Do you need to call your mom to check?

Emelia: I would but, she's a bit dead.

Beth: Oh. Sorry.

Emelia: It's okay. Not very fair for you to take the blame. She *did* kill herself.

And these movies always teach you something, the worn out "moral of the story", so you feel as though you were deceived... Although in this case, by the box office...

The title of this post really stood out because Im currently working on my first novel, and the words are so true! Since I was a little girl, I heard my mother saying something that influenced me a great deal. "There´s very little difference in doing things right or wrong. Think about it, you put in the same effort, the time and will. The only distinction is focus and attention to detail. The devil is in the detail". 

My mom is a wise woman and she's had plenty of experience doing things wrong, so I guess she knows exactly what she´s talking about. And this sound advice is incredibly simple to apply to our every day life, remember, it´s all about the little things. Adjust the wheels of the car just a little tighter or use a condom... the details!!!

Like the saying goes, - Im a writer therefore I rewrite. - This is exactly what Ive been doing and it´s also true that there comes a point when you need to stop with the revisions before driving yourself crazy... When your dog already knows the novel by heart, it´s a good sign that you've been through it enough...

So let´s carry on with this journey (some call it perfectionism), you and I, together... whether you're writing something yourself or making an effort to finish going through my posts. And let´s do it right, thoroughly and with conviction. Otherwise, you'll be hearing from my mother!

{celebrating the anniversaire of a sweet transvestite}

The great Tim Curry turns 68 today and we still love him. He´s one of those character actors that just seems to nail each performance and turning it into a classic! We worship Pennywise and Frank n Furter and so many other memorable ones.

Enjoy this sweet musical number from The Rocky Horror Show...

{the magical art of tale fabrication}

Or storytelling. This warning appears as the opening line in  the movie Sweet Talk, a writer who lost his words. Delilah aids him towards a whole new discovery...

{old habits never die, they just hibernate}

One of my all-time favorite authors Bret Easton Ellis once wrote this line. Less Than Zero was the novel. It later became a movie. He once dated Donna Tartt, another one of my all-time favorite authors. I wouldn´t bring that up except that the actresses that play his female characters in the movie adaptation of his novel, always resemble her a little. Curious fact. Moving on.

I loved watching Less Than Zero again. Hadn't seen it in a very long time. Its not a guilty pleasure, like say 84 Charing Cross Road, that I watch every Sunday. This is one of those once-a-decade kind of movie in which you're happy to see familiar faces: The Other Brat Pack: Andrew McCarthy, James Spader, Jami Gertz and the extraordinary performance of Robert Downey Jr., he really is a brilliant actor when he takes off the mask made of uh, Iron ... More on the Brat Pack II and Robert coming to your local blog very soon...

That phrase regarding old habits, which was pronounced by the James Spader character really touched a nerve. Habits, it seems as though were always rebelling against them, fighting for modification or better yet elimination. Some "experts" have persuaded all human kind to consider that a habit, any habit, can be transformed in 21 days. Are you telling me that after 30 years of biting my nails I will succumb to the belief that I can stop doing it in a measly 3 weeks?! Well, some of us choose to believe, some of us are way too rational for this. I am the latter.

Which is why I was happy to hear these words, somebody was finally able to verbalize my disbelief. You can´t get rid of habits, you can bury them, ignore them, insult them, write about them on your blog... but they will always be a part of you... No matter if you change continents, friends, partners, eating habits or decide to do that dreadful thing that I watch people doing in the mornings around the park, ah! jog.... 

True, we have developed these so called habits, we weren´t born with them, so logic would have you thinking that because it´s not part of our nature or gene pool, it´s just a matter of adjusting the calibre of your will power and off you go to change-land... I think we should settle for the good news that we are able to withhold the impulse of re-usage of habits, but making them disappear as if by magic... Makes you think why you're still tempted to have that extra bowl of pasta or why you want to rip the nail polish off your nails when they are looking so pretty....

Addictions are habits, right? Why would they suggest that a recovering addict will forever and always be an addict if you were able to really break the habit and cliche-ing-ly say that it will die eventually? Exactly, the habit will continue to subsist in the back burner of your mind, waiting attentively for the the trigger that will provoke the urge to see daylight. So we have to read loads of self help books, and monitor our 12 steps to who knows where in order to pacifically "push it real good" to the back of our minds... I knew Salt n´ Pepa would come in handy someday...

So, to summarize, we continue to be a psychological mess. Im sorry but I cant find something more appropriate to describe the present moment. This is me, in all of my splendor, with my good and bad habits. Take what you were given and make the most out of it. I think we spend way too much time trying to improve, change, resize, and upholster. If only we would invest some of that time trying to accept and just applaud our strange habits, life would be much more tolerable. Let those damn habits hibernate in a peaceful setting....

{you know Im pretty sure all my life I always dreamed in black and white, last night I dreamed in color}

One of the last phrases in the dialogue between Demi Moore and Jon Cryer´s characters in the 1984 movie No Small Affair. I loved these words written by Craig Bolotin. (A whole lot more than the movie, it was well intended though)

{memories of the mountain...}

My toe nail finally came off. I say finally because it was predicted by those around me that the destiny of this particular toe nail was written the minute we got off the mountain. A rock climbing injury, shoes perhaps too tight, a whole lot of friction going on. When the nail started showing shades of brownish and black I knew something was not right but since it was still attached to my toe,  I just assumed it would heal and life would go on as usual. That was then, this is now.

Hard-Core Hiking, I learned after this experience, is not something that should be taken lightly. There are certain precautions and measures that must be taken into consideration, should one decide to endure in such dramatic activities. I made fun of my guide/ friend all the way to the top for being so thoroughly equipped he resembled a chubbier Inspector Gadget. Who´s laughing now? Whos´s toe nail is sitting in a drawer waiting to be exposed as evidential proof of a sad sad story such as this one?

Well, at least I was able to apply some enamel on it just in time. So now it sits in a drawer, on it´s own but it remains girly and flirtatious. My toe... au contraire... blackish and old maiden-ly. Until it decides to grow a bit and Im able to resort to "damn falsies" (that´s from Catcher in the Rye, Ive always wanted to use it in a sentence!), Im stuck with an unappealing, bandage covered, antisocial foot-header. It used to be the leader, the surface scratcher and the teaser... Now, it´s just a toe. A naked one.

Had I not gone on this adventure up the mountains, none of this would have happened but I have to confess that this activity made me learn a lot (I now hold an MBA on what shoes to wear to what activity). I may no longer have that pretty nail (which Im hoping will grow back in the next decade) but I have some contrasting memories. I reached the top in the end (the very end, my friends got there an hour before me), after some altitude malfunctions and few minor setbacks such as wanting to quit the trail half way up, throwing a tantrum and my best friend almost being pulverized by the rocks, well that´s life right? 

Truth is, if  choices in life were down to going up to the mountains or not going, my current answer would be quite the opposite of when I did decide to do this hazardous and daring escapade. No way, no how! Im never ever doing this again! There I said it, yeah yeah yeah, I reached a goal, I climbed to the top.. It was strenuous,  it was tiring, I suffered like crazy, and on top of it all I lost a toe nail! There are certain things in life that should remain the way they are without hassling around them. Like the rock that -God put there for a purpose and Im not sure you should remove it - rock (The Goonies).. Let the mountain be high and let me be reminded that there are plenty of other ways to enjoy nature...

“Tough toenails, tiger. What you want and what you get are usually two entirely different things.” (Nicholas Sparks)

{finders... keepers}

The Words. I recently watched this movie for the second time, you should always watch a movie at least twice, especially if it contains large dosis of eye candy in which in any case  causes chunks of distraction and deviates your mind into random thoughts pulling you away from the plot every now and then. (FYI, I have watched every John Cusack film at least 30 times - eye candy of the beholder, don´t question it!). Anyway, as I was saying I laid there with my big bowl of popcorn and went through The Words experience again. Im naturally drawn to films about writers and books, even the really weird ones like something and something about Sylvia Plath... This movie in particular brought to mind something completely off the plot... A huge question! How much of us is really us? Huh? Believe me, Ive thought about formulating this matter in different words but as a premise I tend to keep things simple so it´s the best I could come up with...

How much of us is really us, in us... How many of the words we speak are ours, the words we write. Two nights ago I had dinner with my mom who called to my attention the fact that I had stolen phrases and body language from her!! I told her - how can I steal your body language when you still have it on you? - Well, what she meant was that I had become a cheap copy of her, though she sweetly implied this by saying she was happy of having her disciple  honoring her in such a way... Even our voice tones match! -"Hi Laura, how are you?" - "It´s Ale... again!" - happened constantly back in the day...

When you stop to think about it, if you desire to do so, if not just keep living in ignorance my friend, no difference whatsoever... But if you do get your head spinning around this, you will find that you are a composite of everything and everyone around you. I mean, is there such a thing as a unique thought, or has everything already been said in the past? My guess, it´s been done and it´s been said, we just reestructure it and label it - new idea -. And it will continue to happen as new generations take over, generations that are bits and pieces of the ones who came before them.

It´s interesting to see that we not only carry the genes, I have my father´s nose and my grandmother´s eyes. I carry the family karma (according to my astrologer Marisa) but on top of that we are genuine mini-mes´ of our predecessors and everyone we´ve come into contact with throughout our lives. Who didn´t want to walk, dress or talk like their friends in high school? Pull your hair behind your ears like Joey Potter in the Creek (c´mon, admit it!) or sway your hips like Julia Roberts in... everything she was ever in. We adopt the walk and we adopt the talk, otherwise we wouldn´t rely on famous quotes to appear smarter, Im terribly sorry if "You can´t handle the truth!"...

The way I see it, there´s nothing wrong with taking someone else´s creation, just consider waiting for the perfect time in order to avoid being catalogued as a plagiarist, these things happen you know... and also keep in mind that Google stores everything, forever and ever!!! 

{a man goes into a restaurant... }

Some people have a knack for telling jokes, Im not one of them. Despite being a naturally born story teller and having a few years of drama studies to brag about, I suck at telling jokes. If I am to repeat a joke some else has told me, I need to hear more than a few times and then study some of the gesturing that adds that additional je nais se quoi to the whole plot... even so I get pity responses and smirks that resemble more a stomach ache than actual pleasure! Ive been trying for ages, the ones that talk about the rabbi, the priest and the... see what I mean? I cant even remember!

I do know a lot of people that are great at it and others who insist on trying. With the latter, Ive learned to go along and laugh in a timely manner despite knowing that they are just as bad as I am! The ones that are good are very good. They have a whole repertoire up their sleeve and even come up with their own material. I call these the stand-up wannabes, yes Im talking to you, get on that stage and entertain me! And if you´re really eager in perfecting your skills, click here: How to tell a joke. And let´s not leave out that guy/girl that tells the one joke they know to everybody... and dares to ask "Have you heard this one yet?"...

Then theres that other fortuitous breed that is funny with or without jokes, like my friend Xavi for example, everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious and I so admire him for that. Anytime, anyplace, like they say out there.. "Its not what you say but how you say it".. and be complemented as Julia Louis-Dreyfuss was in the last issue of Rolling Stone, "Julia's not just a natural comedic performer – she's a natural comedic brain, wow!!!  If you´re inclined to become one of those, check out this website: How to be funny without telling jokes. I can´t guarantee anything good will come of it but at least you know you´ve tried...

Telling jokes is an art form, theres good ideas and timing involved. Your words, other people´s words. Ive heard of -Funny Retreats- being available in order to master this creative force. If you're a guy, it´s guaranteed you'll get a lot of girls... once you become funny... So as you can see, it´s quite essential for everyone to pick up on their giggle game...

As for me... Im sticking to the self deprecation format that has given me outstanding results. And for today, let me share Eddie Murphy with you, the quintessential funny man! (FYI, I quote a lot Coming to America, it´s my all-time favorite comedy!)

{life before the internet was different. occasionally, it was amazing -- there were mixed tapes and people used the phone book to make prank calls! }

Trying to decipher Jumpin' Jack Flash's lyrics - Jumpin´Jack Flash 

Whoopi G (Terry Doolittle): I was raised by two lesbians?
Come on, Mick. Fuck a duck!

You had to play a song on the cassette player and stop it a thousand times while  trying to get the words out of it!

 - ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬  Love lifts us up where we were wrong♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ . 

Sometimes it wasn´t easy!!

{i think stories of the supernatural are fundamentally optimist, don´t you?}

"If there are ghosts then that means we survive death". Stanley Kubrick asked Stephen King in the middle of the night. That´s what filming "The Shining" can do to you. What followed was Mr King´s response of how hell fitted into that picture to what Mr Kubrick replied "I don´t believe in hell".

Which brings up another question: The question of Inconsistency and how much of it is acceptable. We all know there´s no such thing as slightly pregnant but what about wanting to do good things for the planet and throwing trash on the streets at the same time, or liking dogs some days of the week. How about healthy living except for doughnuts (in my case Haagen Dazs)? As humans it seems as though we crave inconsistency, we enjoy going halves (this DOES NOT apply for dating) and the fifty-fifty rules of the universe. Why is this? Why are we constantly battling a mass of rules set by society that encourage an all or nothing way of life? Is it a matter of character? Why do these rules exist in the first place, where has all this come from? Pardon my inquisitive randomness, Im a bit of a control-freak when it comes to things that I cant find an answer to...

Doesn´t infidelity qualify as a halfsy? We commit to someone yet we cant commit to someone... Its like going to the gym and sitting in the locker room! Or (and this may offend some) going to work at an office and checking your facebook page all day instead of doing what you're being paid to do. It seems as though the more obliged we are towards something or someone, the further away we want to run. We are all natural born rebels. Its not that we can´t engage, we just refuse to do so. Wild guess is the way nature has us programmed and for what its worth, its great to be able to blame nature for falling off the latest low carb diet!

{My mentor Barbara Sher was very amusing when when referring to this subject on one of her lectures on the secret to success and laid emphasis on our gene pool and what nature has in store for us... "The best thing to do is don´t be consistent, it´s like -keep a moving target-take vitamins and then don´t, jog and then don´t, stuff yourself and then don´t. The odds are in your favor if you're not too consistent...}

How can you not love this woman!! Think about it, it´s absolutely true, we can´t control anything, that´s all an illusion right? And Im more and more convinced that we cannot fight our nature, the same way other species can´t. We can do things the best way possible, with our limitations of course. This is such a relief, its not my fault I cant be perfect. Don´t you feel better already?! And people calling me incongruent, how dare they! I always knew there had to be something else...

And the most pleasing part of of all this is the fact that inconsistency if actually quite fun. You can break paradigms, make up new rules, in fact you can go all psycho and that´s ok, Mother Nature intended it this way! Can you imagine a world where people were constantly changing their minds, going from white to black and back in a heart beat? Guess what? That is the world we live in, only that the faithful to their inconsistency have been outcasted or committed, but it´s the way we are meant to live...

Isn´t it a liberating thought to be able to think one way and change your mind the next, without being judged or criticized? The rules of the game are changing every single second, new diets, new business models, new ways to communicate, and quite avant garde approaches to relationships. So who is to say what is right and what is wrong? And who cares? It will again change tomorrow when a new idea is presented to us. And who invented the hard structure of Consistency anyway?!