Patrick Dempsey was once a regular teenage dork with an edge that is, as he clearly went from geek to chic (and back to geek... in the length of 2 hours!) in Cant Buy Me Love... He was suave with the ladies, he had a special touch. What was it? If you re-watch the movie, as I have done at least once a year for the past 20 years, you may find that you agree with me in assuming that it all comes down to the art of complimenting...
Cindy Mancini, the prettiest girl in school... "The most beautiful girl in the history of this county" - Chuck said. - And yet a so unsure of herself, that she had to go and borrow her mom´s suede outfit which she had strictly been forbidden to touch. She went to the party in the outfit, showed it off to her friends (saying that her boyfriend had sent it to her from Iowa, because that´s where the finest leather comes from...), got red wine spilt on it and well, thanks to all this dilemma, there is a movie we can share!
So, this happened with high school kids but it seems we never grow out of it. Why do we care so much what people think of us? Why do compliments sometimes make or break our days? Why do the lack of compliments weigh over our every relationship? I mean, I sure dumped the guy who was unable to tell me how spectacular I looked in that red dress, believe me, SPECTACULAR.
That´s what social media was invented for, right? Compliments. We live in a world of likes and retweets letting those define our taste, our mood and our wisdom! I personally get ecstatic when you share my posts with others, if Im feeling down, that´ll do it. Im just making a statement, not criticizing in any negative way, so please continue sharing and bringing a smile to my face...
But I am (a little) opposed to letting these things master my decisions. If you narrow it down, who´s opinion matters most to you, that of a total stranger or one coming from someone who cares for you and who you respect? Both, of course! Apparently it´s getting harder and harder to set these apart as we are spending more amounts of time with our virtual connections and awarding them more meaning than we (perhaps) should.
Fishing for compliments, means you might not catch any! No matter how well-equipped you find yourself to be... But there´s a higher chance you´ll get some if you reach out to a larger quantity of individuals, I understand. Quantity has taken over quality, big time. I once opened a fake facebook account to give a like to the posts I submitted on the real one!! Losers unite, you might as well confess that you did it too. Fake account is now closed, it started getting lazy and not liking my posts anymore....
And this works both ways, don´t you sometimes feel compelled to like or share something someone else posted out of guilt or to make that person feel good? Sure you have! I like posts all the time and I don´t even read them!
If you want to get some good compliments out there, here´s a great list gathered by Huffington Post for you to take a look at, cut and paste. And if you are looking for a compliment, let it come naturally, without expecting it, it feels so much better... better make a recording yourself on your phone and play it back for as long as it´s necessary. Something like - "Ale, you are amazing. The diet is working wonders, you look so much thinner "- play it until it starts to sink in.
SPOILER ALERT ... Although I don´t know if that even existed in the 80s!
In the end, Ronald and Cindy get together. They each realize that neither of them have to change to accept the other nor do they care what anybody thinks about them anymore. "Cools, Nerds, your side, my side, man it's all bullshit. It´s tough enough to be yourself."...
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